Jesus is my cup of tea!

Our Story

2009-07-31T17:34:00.000-07:00

I'll translate this when I got time I promise! Or somebody wanna help me?? haha

認識耶穌快兩年了..在這兩年內我說過無數次的見證關於我怎麼認識他的, 但是每次講的內容都縮水縮很大! 我決定要來把故事從頭到尾(no more make the story short)講一遍! 因為我相信在我身上所發生過的所有事, 都是為了榮耀神的 :)

從我國小起, 爸爸媽媽就常常吵架, 有時候還會打起來, 那時候我總是會躲起來哭..不敢過去和他們說”不要吵了

” 忘了是哪一天, 媽媽什麼都沒說的就離家出走了..一走就是一兩年, 那時候的我似乎可以理解媽媽為什麼要離開..家裡少了一個人的生活, 好像也沒有很難去習慣…過了很長一段時間, 媽媽從日本回來了, 同時也是他們要離婚的時候. 我只記得, 那時候我覺得這對大家來講好像都是個解脫, 至少他們不需要再每天吵架打架~

在我更小的時候, 我曾經被一個男生性侵害過, 因為那時候還太小了, 所以我並不清楚當時到底是什麼樣的一個狀況…一直到我長大, 我認識了一些lesbian, 而且喜歡上她們之後, 我才知道原來我對男生是這麼厭惡又懼怕的.
我從國一開始喜歡女生, 一直到大學, 在這中間也有跟男生交往過, 但是時間都不長..其實不管我跟男生還是女生在一起, 從來都沒有好結果. 因為以前的我一直被許多不好的靈綑綁著.

在台灣的時間渾渾噩噩的過了..在我國中畢業的時候, 決定出國讀書, 沒想到來美國之後的生活更亂, 因為一個人在這裡, 沒有家人管, 尤其是搬出姑姑家之後, 整個人就像籠子裡的鳥被放了出來一樣, 但我不知道, 我只是又飛進另外一個更大的籠子罷了!
自己生活之後, 覺得自由了, 認識很多男男女女, 不管是認識沒幾天或是幾個月, 不管是有交往沒交往, 我都很不愛惜自己的身體, 和他們發生關係..我想, 那時候我很缺乏愛吧, 會認為和其他人在一起, 好像就等於被愛.
這樣的日子持續了兩年左右, 那段時間裡, 說實話我過的一點也不開心..反而很痛苦. 因為我也不想不專情, 我也不想和一堆人發生關係, 我知道那些都是不對的. 我知道周圍的人都在我背後評論我的所作所為, 但是我卻沒有辦法控制自己, 沒有辦法不放任下去.
而當那些痛苦積到一個點的時候, 我開始自殘, 其實從國中開始就會拿刀劃自己..但都只是很輕的那種.. 但是感情很亂的那時候, 我整個爆發了! 我記得那時候我失去理智的拿刀在腿上劃了好多道…邊哭邊劃….一直到褲子被染成了紅色, 血流到地上, 我才驚醒.
在那之後, 日子沒有好轉, 反而更糟.. 認識了一些人而開始酗酒, party, 和更多人交往, 受了傷又繼續自殘….覺得, 如果我還感覺的到痛, 就代表我還活著…就又這樣過了一兩年...

我真的很想改變但不知道怎麼改… 當時我想我應該一輩子都會這樣吧! 我就是會繼續的亂下去…繼續的傷害自己..也傷害別人…就這樣一直到我死去.

然後……祂出現了
祂透過一個人來向我敲門! 那個人就是廖小徵~ 在我們交往一個月左右, 他邀我去教會, 也就是Impact. 我從來沒去過教會, 也不知道耶穌是誰, 去之前整個超緊張, 因為我覺得基督徒都怪怪的! 但是那時候因為喜歡他, 所以就決定去了~
到了那裡, 我看到大家在敬拜, 那是一種我從來沒有體會過的感覺, 我聽著大家唱, 看著power point., 不自覺的就哭了…也不知道是為了什麼
後來, 我記得傑克那天有說到, 我們常常在跌倒, 常常摔的渾身是傷, 而神很愛看我們跌倒! 因為我們可以靠著祂站起來. 我那時候在心裡想…”一直在跌倒…那不就是我嗎? 這個叫耶穌的真的可以扶我起來嗎?” 在那之後, 我對教會的印象變了, 雖然他們是怪怪的, 但好像怪的還蠻令人喜歡的~

我有時間就會去教會, 慢慢的開始認識神, 然後知道了不管我們過去做了什麼事, 耶穌都願意接受我們. 因為祂已經把我們的罪都洗淨了! 也就是那時候, 我發現, “啊! 就是祂了! 就是祂可以把我帶離以前那種黑暗的生活!”
我越認識祂, 越知道祂有多愛我..和祂熟起來之後, 我竟然可以把以前的一切都放下..! 我不再有想酗酒的慾望, 也不再有想出軌或是和別人亂搞的念頭, 對女生也不再有喜歡的衝動. 因為神, 我整個人被更新了~!
以前我從來不想結婚, 因為小時候看到爸媽那樣, 加上之前根本沒辦法和同一個人交往一年以上, 所以我總是覺得, 要是我跟誰結婚了總有一天也會離婚吧! 但認識神之後我的想法也變了, 我相信我和廖小徵是被神祝福的, 是早就被祂計畫好的~
我甚至可以原諒那個在我小時候欺負我的人, 因為神教導我要寬恕

我越感受到祂的愛, 就越想愛更多回去! 我想為祂做很多很多事!
而我也深信, 如果神可以改變我, 祂一定也可以改變世界上的所有人! 或許祂會使用我, 來向很多人說話, 和我有同樣經歷的人, 或是其他人. 我相信神都會一一讓他們感受到祂的愛! 因為祂就是愛!

說到這…有沒有人覺得, 生活好像不是很順利, 好像蠻痛苦的..好像腳被綁了石頭一樣不停的往下沉…? 耶穌就是那個可以拉你起來的人! 祂不只會丟救生圈給你, 祂還會拉你起來, 給你全世界最溫暖的擁抱, 然後把你帶到光亮的地方! 一個充滿快樂和希望的地方!
怎樣? 要不要試一下??

汗如雨下!

2009-07-21T23:46:00.000-07:00

有多久沒有"汗如雨下"的經歷了?
非常久, 至少對我這個完全不運動的人來說, 非常非常的久..
但是剛剛幫小不點(我的貓)洗澡, 然後幫他吹乾的時候, 我終於體會到"汗如雨下"的感覺了!

我抓著他, 蹲在吹風機前, 很努力的用毛巾擦著他的毛,
吹風機很努力的對我和他吹著熱風,
他很努力的一直想逃離又熱又吵的吹風機,

然後....「怎麼會有水從上面滴下來啊?」滑過我的臉, 滴在毛巾上, 滴在地上..
而且還不只一兩滴! 是整個像下雨一樣的滴滴答答!
我熱到不行! 他一直掙扎著抓我咬我! 但是我還是忍住, 好不容易把他給吹乾了!

然後....
我想到了耶穌, 我的神

他好像在告訴我, 「hey! 孩子啊! 你知不知道我也正汗如雨下的抓著你啊?」
耶穌汗如雨下的抓著我們! 為了保護我們, 就像我把小不點吹乾是為了不讓他著涼感冒!
但是我們還在掙扎, 以為他不給我們自由, 還生他的氣,
其實他根本就是因為愛我們愛到不行, 才願意忍著痛的繼續保護我們!

耶穌, 謝謝你!
你的愛我感受到了!
我要繼續在你的愛裡成長!

I'm angry!

2009-04-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

我不知道這是不是所謂的righteous anger, 但是當我看到一個人生病的時候我就是會忍不住的發火!

當我看到一個人病了好幾天, spiritual, mental, 跟physical都被撒旦摧殘到不行, 卻還不願振作起來迫切禱告求神幫助的時候! 我真的想slap their faces and just shout "What are you doing!?!?????!!!! Are you being compromise with sickness?!?! Don't you know if only you ask the Lord for healing and strength, HE WILL DO IT!"

氣氣氣氣氣!
氣炸了!!

撒旦滾開啦!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

大風?

2009-04-16T00:36:00.000-07:00

這幾天風都超級大...吹一個人都要飛走的感覺~
今天走在學校的時候突然在想, 為什麼風這麼大啊?
"神啊, 祢為什麼要颳這麼大的風?" 我問

(Acts 2:2-5)
五旬節到了，門徒都聚集在一處。
忽然，從天上有響聲下來，好像一陣大風吹過，充滿了他們所坐的屋子，
又有舌頭如火焰顯現出來，分開落在他們各人頭上。
他們就都被聖靈充滿，按著聖靈所賜的口才說起別國的話來。

hmm......Lord, fill us with the Holy Spirit of Yours!

"Encounter"

2009-02-17T08:09:00.001-08:00

So we just came back from our E2 Encounter Retreat last Sunday. I have to say, this time is really "unexpected" + meaningful. We arrived there on Friday night, next day, Pastor Tsai and his coworker Tom came. First we get to know each other a bit, then Pastor Tsai asked us, "How do u want to encounter God?" and everyone said something different, like speaking tongue, see miracle happens...etc. For me, I was expecting something new and fresh, something I've never encounter before.
Then Pastor Tsai showed us some slides and talked about what steps we need to do before we can encounter God, some basic knowledges. While I was listen, I just felt like.."I know all these already, when do I get to do the encounter part??" After the first section, we had lunch together, then we went back to the house and starts the afternoon section. We talked about John 3:16, and watched a short clip called "The Bridge" references to how God loves us and sacrificed His son just to saved us. And I was still thinking.."okay, I know 316, and?"
After that, Pastor Tsai asked, "so why do we want to encounter?" and I started to think, why do I want to encounter God? Is it for encounter's sake or something else?
Pastor Tsai then said, "We encounter God because we need to have a relationship with Him, and Love Him Back!" And I was like 恍然大悟!
"This is why I'm here on the prayer mt.! Not just waiting to be fill by the HS, nor see signs and wonders, I'm here because I want to show Jesus how much I love Him!"

Then it's about 5pm or so, before Pastor Tsai and Tom left, they prayed for us one by one. When it's my turn, Pastor Tsai starts out "You have a tender heart, and really sensitive, and because of this, you've got hurt really bad in the past." Then I just broke out with tears, was crying really hard! Because that's exactly the situation I'm in. He then prayed that I don't have to be afraid anymore, coz Jesus is protecting me. No one can hurt me anymore. And just asked the HS to delivered me from the pain. Complete release.
I felt really relax and relieved afterwards coz I know that Jesus is right next to me and He's my protector. :)

Next day morning, I woke up early and went climb up the hills outside just to pray and have a good time w/ Him. I wanted to climb to a particular spot, although the path is kind of steep, but I still went. Everyone knows that climb down is way harder than climb up, especially the hills was covered with really tiny stones. So before I started climbing down hills, I was so scared of slipping and fall, was praying so hard, asking God to not let me fall. Then I started climbing down, really slow, even stopped for several times coz the tiny stones were rolling under my feet! Guess what happened next? I still slipped and falled! My hand was scratched by sliding on the ground. When I just about to complained, God spoke, He said "Why are you afraid of falling? Don't you know I'm always next to you, holding you up?"
Then I just started to laugh! yah, why am I so afraid? He's right there with me when I fall, and He hold me up, and continued walk with me. Isn't that sweet??

I've really learned alot during this retreat, I know that we need to encounter for a Purpose. Also, I know that He is always by my side therefore I don't have to be afraid!
Oh btw, really be careful of what you pray/say to God! I had two nights of cold water bath up on the prayer mt. while everyone else had hot water, because I was saying to Him that I will fear no hardship! Hahaha~ the heater was just not working when it was my turn! XDDD
But it actually felt pretty awesome, hehe

Jesus I love You. Because You love me first.

He is really random! but I like~ <3

2008-12-10T10:32:00.000-08:00

wow~ it's been a long time that I havnt update my blog...sorry for those who check out my blog everyday..! (XP???)

aniwayz, as some of u may know that I missed my final exam on Monday. Because I'm going back to TW on Thursday noon, so my professor arranged my early final w/ her other section (same class but different section). Their final is on Monday, so I just went to my classroom to take it. HOWEVER, it turned out different section has different room!!! I was standing there totally stunned! "So where's their room????????" Of course I couldn't find it..........= =
So I called my professor immediately, she didn't pick up, so I left a voice mail told her the situation and asked is there a way for me to take it again? (well...not again...)
When I got home, I wrote another email to her, telling the same stuff as the voice mail.
Then start to wait and wait and wait.....waiting for her reply.......
But seems like she doesn't check her cell phone nor email...

I woke up on Tuesday morning and checked my email, she still didn't reply anithing...so I just started to pray, also asked many of u to pray for me, too.
"Jesus, I put myself in Your hand."

Then I went to school to take my other final, after that class, I decided to call her again see what's happening. Amazingly, she picked up! and she's really willing to let me take it!!!
Hallelujah~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I went to her office and took the final~ XDDDD

------------------------------------------------

Was so streesed out + burned out because of the finals...(lack of sleep + no time to eat + right hand hurts coz drawing too much + my stupidity) → I went to Kinkos last night to print my final project, and found out I didn't even save the files into my flash drive when the cashier opened the folder..........lol

This morning I went to Kinko's again, on the way back home, The radio was playing "Blessed Be Your Name" by Tree 63. And out of no where, I just started to cry again! Felt so stupid..haha~

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say Lord,
Blessed be your name

Yes, even tho I'm suffering, I still wanna give You praise~! Because You've done toooo much for me!

I was on my car, crying and saying "Jesus You are sooo random! but I love you so much...!!" haha~

When I got home, making my process book, I found a feather next to my chair~~~ about an inch long! >///<
My mood is totally great now! No more pressure and stuff. Thank You Jesus.

btw, going back to TW tomorrow, please pray for my safety + pray for my family coz I'll try to share Jesus with them :)

His Kingdom come!

2008-11-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

So bunch of us Impacters went to SD for TheCall last Sat. The rally was pretty intense. I can feel God's presence all the time. Wept alot. Prayed alot. Worship alot.
Even tho I got pretty bad sun burn, but I believe God is gonna do amazing thing these two days! Because He heard our prayers.

Sunday was pretty fun also. We first went to the city hall, then we went to Norwalk civic center where the voting polls at. There was a group of protester (for prop 8) standing along the street. and some pro-prop 8 people standing cross the street. It was funny how we compete our volume at the begining...(they shout no on 8, we shout yes on 8) But after a while, some of us just began to pray. I was praying that God will just speak to all the people who standing in line waiting to vote, touch their hearts, and help them make the right decision.

Oh! When we were at the city hall, holding signs along the street, Blair was having really bad stomach ache. So I offered her a short prayer, asking Jesus to release healing power over her and filled her w/ Holy Spirit. After a while, the pain was completely gone!!! She was all energized and able to stand for hrs when we went to the voting polls~ Hallelujah~!!

And today while I was walking in Cal Poly campus, I saw this (↓) right in front of our student center!

A Prayer Tent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and it's 24 hrs!!!

omg~~~ I was all exciting and touched! Almost cried! Coz God really listens to our prayers for the revival of CPP!
I passed by the tent, and there were 5-6 people praying inside. I'll definitely go when I need prayer or when I want to pray for others :)

This is just too awesome!! God is awesome!!!

btw, election day tomr, gonna vote in my campus. I will vote Yes on prop. 8 and vote for the pro-life candidate. And I'm already exciting coz I know VICTORY is near! Becasue our God REIGN!

God is random! and sweet~

2008-10-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

Last Wed on my way to J's house in the morninig (we car pool to school), I was listening to Air 1, and they played a song from a rock band. I didn't catch the name of the band, but I truly love the song! And when I heard them sang the line "You will always be with me" as the lyric, tears just started to fall like crazy! I was so touched by God's tender love..The whole car is filled by His tangible presence >///<

So I had an encounter with Jesus by listen to a ROCK song! How's that!?

Some of my friends get lonely easily, and they just hate that feeling. Jesus, let them know that You are always there with them. Fill them up with Your love, like what You did to me. Amen.

He wants more

2008-10-06T00:40:00.000-07:00

While we were worshipping this afternoon with the line of "I want more", God just told me that, He wants more of us, too!

Lots of times we just pray to God that we want more of Him, somehow, we don't give more
We just ask for more, but we don't give Him back.
那要那麼多幹嘛? 如果我們要來卻不用的話, 如果我們沒有同樣的給回去的話
神大概會覺得... "阿你又不好好珍惜, 也不love me back by showing me some sacrifices, 那我幹嘛給啊?" 之類的~

哭的蠻慘的, 覺得很對不起神, 我必須停止盲目的向祂要更多, 在我學會付出之前
祂何嘗不想要更多的我?

First day of school...

2008-09-28T12:07:00.001-07:00

Alot of professors likes to ask the students to introduce themselves on the first day of class. So I introduced myself like this:

"Hi, I'm Yung-Ching (yes, this is my Chinese name XD). What I did last year that I'm proud of (this is the question she asked) is that I got baptized! And I'm proud to be a Christian! I also love to pray for people, so if anyone want any prayers, feel free to chat with me :) "

Yep~ that was pretty awesome. I'm waiting for someone to come to me and ask for prayers. haha

Impact's B-day party was fun. I love the new place. Also met w/ some new frds.
Lord, put visions inside of me as a seed. And I'll take good care of it and let it GROW.

Jesus ROCKS!

莫名其妙的考驗是為了能夠經歷神對我們的愛

2008-09-13T01:37:00.000-07:00

好長的title.....不過整個完全是我的心聲!

今天小組看了王文祥的抗癌見證, 又聽了Evan的見證, 再加上自己的見證..(還真多見證XD) 又更深刻的覺得, 我們會遇到這些身理心理上的疾病低潮, 曾經放棄希望把自己鎖在黑暗的谷底, 一切都是為了在某一天, 能夠親身經歷到神, 親身感受祂把我們從谷底拉起來帶到光明的真實感與感動!

最近為一個朋友禱告的很勤, 一直都有在幫他禱告, 但是最近常常想到他就想哭, 因為他身體跟心靈都生病了... 我一方面求神來醫治他, 禱告到想哭的時候, 又開始覺得, 神這麼做一定有祂的用意, 祂一定為他預備了屬於他的道路, 或許就是非得經過這痛苦的一段, 他才能fully trust in God..

我會繼續幫他禱告, 同時也完全相信神正一步步照著祂的計畫走~

Lord have Your way in us.

Hold the key to His Kingdom

2008-09-07T01:00:00.001-07:00

Went to Rosemead Place (a plaza on Rosemead Blvd) for city invasion today w/ Sarah, Sam, and Abby coz on my treasure hunt list I have Jamba Juice~
So we went to Jamba Juice first, I ordered "strawberry shortcake"....yum >///< haha~ while I was order the drink I saw the cashier's name tag, his name was Robert, and Robert was on Sarah's list! So she prayed for him later :)

Then we went to Target. On my list there was pink t-shirt so I was chasing after those people who wear pink tee (there were ALOT!) but got rejected for like 3 times. Finally, when I passed the greeting card section, there was a little girl who wears pink tee! So I approached to her and asked her if I can pray for her. She gladly accepted! Finally!! She asked me to pray for her grandmom and cousin who lives in Mexico alone w/o any friends or relatives. So we prayed together that Jesus' presence will be w/ them all the time and provide whatever they needs!

Oh! Before I found that little pink tee girl (sorry I forgot her name...>"<) I was waiting for another pink tee woman in front of the pharmacy counter, but I saw this guy who has cast on his wrist, so I decided to talk to him first! Me and Sarah went up and offer him prayer, and he accepted it. His bone was broken and had a surgery, we just prayed for healing power to fall upon him and asked God to remove the pain. After the prayer he said he felt much better! So we offer him a second prayer, he was saying like...."no thank you, one is fine." but we kept pushing him and said God can heal him completely. Then he finally let us pray for him again, so we did a short prayer, but he said he felt the same~ oh well, it's still good :)

When we're about to leave Target, I saw a woman was pushing a wheelchair, so we went after them and asked if we can pray for the guy who was on the wheelchair. The lady is the mother, and the guy named Matthew, he was a premature baby so he borned w/ a disease (I forgot the name..something about lacking oxygen in the brain) and he can not walk nor talk. We prayed that God will touch him w/ holy spirit and pour down healing power! He was smiling while I prayed! So cute^^ Even though he didn't get healed right away but I just felt that God really wants to heal him, He loves Matthew so much! In His eye, he is soooo beautiful~! Matthew's mom was crying after we prayed...I almost cried, too. God's love was just too strong...! Please keep Matthew in your prayers, I totally believe he will be healed by Jesus' love!

The night worship was still good because God is good!! While we sang "Consuming Fire" where the part says "Lord have Your way in me"; I saw a bright road w/ narrow open but wide end.

God prepare the destiny, the special road for each one of us, we might feel uncomfortable in the begining when we choose to go His way becasue the road is so narrow, but in the end, we will reach the endless eternal bright kingdom of God!!
And I was worshipping so 忘我, when I opened my eyes I found that I almost hit the keyboard! hahaha
Also, while we sang "Beautiful One" (this should be the name....) because the key was so high I almost 破音! but then God told me that He doesn't care if we 破音 or not! Actually He loves it!! He love to see when we sing for Him from the bottom of our hearts + with all our strength! So I was laughing so hard and couldn't stop it......it's my first time encountering that! And I love it! Jesus truly did something new to me again~~!!! Yes He is FAITHFUL~!

Prayer mt. = good place

2008-09-05T02:02:00.000-07:00

Went to prayer mt. again, wasn't quite sure why I need to go, just felt like it; but after I got up to the mountain, God just told me what's my issue. (or what's in His mind; since I asked Him to reveal His heart to me...)

He said I need to focus on Him, not myself nor this world. Or I should say, sometimes I do things (like C.I....etc) to pleased myself, not God. I'll feel like...if I do something, other people will think I'm good. So these two~three days I just kept asking Jesus to break me into pieces, and reshape me. I prayed that He will take away my pride.
I wanna do crazy things for God because I want to show Him my love + show others Jesus' love, 而不是讓自己看起來好像比較厲害

Need to set my heart right...

First time woke up @ 4am to pray, actually it felt pretty good~ and also my first time to do "通宵禱告"(how to say this in English??) Even tho most of the time I fell asleep...haha~ but I stayed in the chapel til' 5:15am.....pretty fun experience.

------------------------------------------

After the late dinner from Jazz Cat, me and Andy went to Ralph's to get some toilet paper rolls and stuff. (I just moved! oh yay!) There's a man sitting on a wheel chair outside of the supermarket, and he was selling caramel apples. We decided to pray for him. When I was @ the cashier, Andy went out first. After I got my rolls I went out and joined them. Andy already prayed for him once, but He didn't feel anything, so together we prayed for him 2 more times; he still didn't feel anything, but he was crying. We told him that we all believe God is gonna heals him because He loves him so much! And Andy gave him Impact business card + his phone #. If he wants to join our service or have more of us pray for his healing, he can give us a call.

After we left, we kept praying for that man.
Jesus release Your healing power over him!!! Have mercy on him! Let him STAND UP AND WALK in Your Mighty name!!!! Amen!!!

Call of Duty conference tomorrow! Can't wait!! Lord, rise up more and more revivalists in this country! Let us burn for You~~~~~~!!!

PS, new house wireless is soooooooo unstable...........lllorz Got disconnect for like every 5 min...............................be fixed in Jesus' name!!!

Out of expectation

2008-08-25T10:55:00.001-07:00

Came back from L.V, the mission trip was really out of my expectation....becasue God loves to surprised us with His wonderful love! Amen~?!

Even though it was a mission trip, we went to serve people, but I really gained alot :)

Learned how to worship w/o music (with other people) + harp & bowl. Actually when God's presence arrived, your body and vocal cord will just went crazy! There's really nothing to learn...
Harp & bowl was really fun! It's my first time doing it. God kept telling me that, He likes the kind of worship that will makes Him get goose bumps~ it doesn't have to be fancy or anything, but He loves us to worship from the bottom of our hearts!

During the first night worship, I saw Jesus hugging us. He was so gentle and sweet~ and He said "good job" to me. Coz sometimes I'm kinda confused about 我正在做的事, I'll feel like..I'm not good enough to be a revivalist or something~ but actually He is happy about the things I've done for Him :) I was so touched and was weeping so hard... haha

That night I had a dream about revival. In my dream, there was a bunch of people in a house. Then all of a sudden there came an earthquake. Most of the people were frightened, but some people were calm and not afraid. Coz of the earthquake, the house was shifting for a distance. And then people realized they are actually flowing on a river....(like the house shifted into a river) When I woke up, I thought that the earthquake represents revival. The river is God's living water. Most of the ppl didn't even know what was happening, that's why they are afraid. And those who are calm are the revivalist. It's like ppl realized they are in the flow of God's presence after the revival, but they don't know what price did the revivalists had paid...
(this dream has a second part link to it)

Second day's worship was still awesome! I really think people can easily encounter God during worship! I was worshipping in tongue(which is my first time) The afternoon section was so peaceful. Really peaceful. It's like you don't have to worry anything, completely relax in His presence. 超超超級舒服的>w< During that worship, I saw a baby carriage; we are the babies who sits in the carriage all the time, and God's protection is like the carriage. In Him, we are 100% protected. No matter what happened outside, as long as we are in the baby carriage, we'll always feel peaceful and safe~
I also smelled Jesus!!!!!!! The smell was 淡淡的香味.....it's so hard to describe! But I LOVE it!!!

Then we went out for C.I. Prayed for alot of people~ Nothing super crazy happened, but I'm happy to see Vegas people have the boldness and anoiting to pray for strangers :) and I also think that praying for others can really boost up their faith! Like Mira (ok...I don't know how to spell her name....but I'm talking about the woman who has diabetes and got prayers from 3-4 of our teams), after me and Kurt prayed for her, she was saying "I totally believe I'm gonna be healed!"

The night section of worship was crazy, too! God's fire was totally coming down! And I saw this vision of a volcano. There are people climbing on it, and jumping into the crater. As more ppl jumping in, the temperature gets higher. And till a point, the volcano is gonna explore.
Here comes the cool part, if the volcano explored, it will cause earthquake (which was in my dream) Those people who jump into the volcano are the revivalists. It's painful, you'll get burned. But it's worthy to make our land into His kingdom, isnt't it?

So............let's jump!!!!!!!!!! Be a revivalist!!!!!

Back to San Gabriel on Sunday noon, the worship was out of my expectation again....I felt wind blowing on my face and body...as we were singing "You're my superman, I wanna fly with you". I was praying to God to give me New Encounter, and He truly did! Haha! He's faithful as always~

Now we should go to the beach or lake to test out
Walk on water~ ~ ~ ~

Wakakakaka! God is GOOD~~~!!

TheCall DC

2008-08-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

The one day short trip to DC was awesome~~!! love it ALOT >///<

第一次一個人坐飛機到別州(還有轉機) 整個很刺激... 尤其接機/借住地方的人還是從來沒見過的~

在Salt Lake City轉機到Dulles的時候還差點錯過o__O! 在機場狂奔.........感謝主讓我順利搭上了!

到Washington的時候已經是那邊的晚上11點, 三個小時的時差, 回到Lily家, 睡覺也都快兩點了..

他們住的city是Rockville, 離The Mall還有一段距離, 隔天早上7點起床, 然後出發去車站... 坐地鐵去~ 第一次坐耶! 很興奮~~ (我整個就是一個觀光客啊!!)
認識了他們教會的人, 一大群, 去的總共有12.13個吧~ 也都是年輕人...頗驚訝的~ 呵呵

到達The Mall已經十點半左右, 人群一票一票的湧進白宮前的空地.... 遠遠的看到TheCall的logo (那個箭頭) 心中不自覺的感動~ 這些人都是希望美國回到神面前的激進份子!

I think I should start typing English....haha~ The weather was good, (actually it was Really HOT...= =!) but it doesn't matter because God is bigger than everything!

We prayed for alot of issues: anti-abortion, U.S. government/governors, teens, Latino-Americans, Asian-Americans....and more. Even though it's a 12 hrs fasting & praying, but it actually felt pretty short. I was praying + worshipping so 忘我.... ahaha~

I really believe God is gonna do something to this land, abortion is really gonna be abandoned, teens' hearts will really be stir up!!

The most important msg I learned from this trip is prob the one I shared on Sunday. If we want revival to come, we better make ourselves right first. Because we are the broken covenant, repent, and ask Him for forgiveness + restoration.

If we only ask for His glory to come, only worship and praise, but deep inside we are dirty, why should He comes? It doesn't make sense.

We gotta obey His rules, bring justice/righteousness back, or judgement is gonna come!

(Psalms 94:11) The Lord knows the thoughts of man; he knows that they are futile.

(Psalms 94:23) He will repay them for their sins and destroy them for their wickedness; the Lord our God will destroy them.

Yes, we are sinners, we are futile. And there's no time to hesitate anymore! People wake up! and not only repent but start to change yourself! All those addictions and bad habbits....cut them off!!! before judgement comes~!

After TheCall, bunch of us went to a Chinese restaurant for late dinner...i ate 油雞飯!!! 雖然沒有LA這邊的好吃...不過兩個多月沒吃肉, 還是很開心TwT.... hahaha
Went back to Lily's house at about 1:30am, after shower it was 2:30, and we need to wake up @ 4 so I can catch my flight back to LA..... 辛苦他們了~ 帶著我跑來跑去, 真的很高興能認識他們! I think we should have a rally together or sth...(兩個教會) it's gonna be so cool~! Since both of us are youth church and we are all pretty radical~!

Me and Lily :)

The trip was great, I wish I had more time to stay. Washington is so pretty....(房子真的跟電影裡的一樣耶!!) 而且路邊還有鹿!!!! 超酷的啊~~ 跟他們說以後一定會再去好好玩, Lily跟Issac(the pastor's son) 也很想來LA.... 哈哈

TheCall CA is gonna hosted in San Diego on 11/1..!! Everyone should go!!! This one is focus on the marriage. (DC is focus on pro-life) And homosexual marriage is one of my....how to say it.....很重視的一個問題. I think most of you don't know that I used to like girls.... since I was in middle school. 曾經跟很多女生在一起過, 甚至想要跟同性結婚....etc. but after I met God, I finally realized that homosexual is not right. (I repented, of course) 也從那時候開始, 我發現我不再喜歡女生了. It's really amazing. 以前認識我的都知道我整個就超級支持同性戀(大學的speech project 還講anti-homophobia), 也一點都不避諱讓別人知道我喜歡女生. I never thought that one day I will stop liking girls. 至少我也喜歡了八九年了... 可是認識神, 知道祂有多愛我以後, 就完全對女生沒興趣~ 因為我會覺得, 如果我還喜歡女生, 神一定會超失望加難過!

I have alot of gay friends, they all really surprised that i've changed. What I need to do is to pray for them and tell them the truth about homosexuality. God can changes me, He can definitely change other people.

Fight~~~!!!

View point from the plane, amazing creation from God.

耶穌說"加油!"

2008-08-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

sorry i'm too lazy to type english.... :(

今天在電腦前坐了一整天~ 看了一整天螢幕..which is really bad= =
到晚上..覺得很悶(房間跟心理上都很悶!) 所以就決定去外面散步~ 把社區繞一圈

外面超涼的! 感謝耶穌給了我一個涼快的夜晚!

邊走邊禱告....很舒服
i really need more of Him~ 幫一些人事物代禱~
然後叫神給我個路人好讓我來傳傳福音或是幫他禱告...
在快走到公車站的時候, 遠遠的看到疑似輪椅的(有輪子的車)! 邊走還邊偷笑~
結果走近才發現是shopping cart! 哈哈哈~ 神真的很幽默!

原本很悶的心情, 出去這樣晃一圈, 跟祂聊聊天, 整個恢復!

"Jesus Comforts His Disciples"
耶穌安慰他的門徒

原來就只是這麼簡單.

我聽到耶穌對我說 "加油~"

*心情不好的時候祂真的每次每次都會安慰你! 快去找祂吧!!!*

At least once in a life time!

2008-08-11T00:55:00.000-07:00

Went to prayer mountain w/ Jack, Sam, and Tiffa from Monday to Friday. It was AWESOME! Eventho the first two days was killing me... my body was just amazingly WEAK! Was walking like a 80 yrs old grandma! Anywayz...... I really grew and gained alot during this trip. I have more faith in the Lord. (which is what i really need) and talked to Him almost the whole day for 4 days. God love us to chat w/ Him! Also learned how to wait upon the Lord, quietly.

Prayed alot. Family, friends, revival, traning school, summer camp, financial, boyfriend, encounter, vision/calling, band, 4947 walnut grove.....and more.

water fast真的很辛苦...會肚子狂叫, 全身無力, 貧血想吐, 還有肚子痛之類的... 可是當我們把肉體丟到一邊, 全心全意的赤裸裸的面對神, 屬靈真的會成長很多! 也會更容易經歷神! 在山上什麼都沒有, 就一本聖經一瓶水, 想要不focus在祂身上都難吧!

For example: 1. was praying for receiving the gift of speak in tongue on Monday, and received it on Thursday!

Ex 2. was praying for financial issue on Wed, and got a call from financial office of Cal Poly on Thursday morning...i got my $$~!

在山上大叫(禱告用喊的)也很爽.... 自己的信心真的會被boost up~ (雖然我平常就常在叫啦....haha)

Jack叫我們撿一個東西, 然後思考神透過那個東西跟我們說什麼話? 我在山上, 坐在大石頭上大叫完的時候眼睛睜開, 眼前就有一小塊石頭.....很小很小, 直徑一公分左右, 但是佈滿了許多漂亮的半透明顏色, 而且有很多層次. 我撿起來然後想著..."我就像這顆石頭一樣, 雖然超級小又不起眼, 但在我裡面是被很多anoiting/gift/faith/blessing/joy filled up的! 因為我是神的孩子! 祂超愛我~!!"

雖然我還是不怎麼確定我的calling是什麼.. but i'll found out one day~ God has His best timing! I always believe so. and i'll wait patiently+faithfully. :)

禱告山真的超棒的~ 以後一定一定還要去!!

and i'm going to The Call DC!! woohoo~~~!!!

祂永遠都在

2008-07-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

最近一個禮拜很low....就覺得, 一點動力也沒有, 甚至想要stay away from Him
昨天worship又哭了~ 因為我感覺到耶穌一直都在, 即使我試著遠離祂, 祂還是在原地守著我. 等我回到祂身邊.

God You are Really GOOD to me...... I love You
祢從來不曾放棄過我, 而我也不想離開祢. I don't wanna let You go.

tired...

2008-07-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

N.I is so tiring....especially when u have to walk under the energetic+big sun for hours.....>_< i'm thinking bring 孫媽媽 to the mall or supermarket or wherever to do some C.I~ keeping my goal of pray for at least 5 strangers a day...and maybe do 2 times N.I a week.

these two day i was sooooooo tired when it's only 8 or 9pm, and in the morning i'll keep waking up several times (but i know my body is still tired)

in Jesus' name! 那些阻礙我的疲乏感無力感, 通.通.都.滾.開!!!!!!!!!!!!

fasting is tiring, too...........>_< (為什麼我這麼愛吃呢...orz)

aniwayz, it's called sacrifice.
Jesus i wanna be CLOSER to You! i'll give my ALL to You!
here i am! SEND ME!!!

ps. gonna meet w/ 孫媽媽 @ 3pm, Lord i just ask that You will still be w/ us all the time! and whoever we'll talk to, You're gonna tenderize their hearts!! Just let them feel Your wonderful love!!! Amen!

過完這個暑假我就無敵了!!!!!!
皮膚越黑代表我越接近神!!! 噗~

N.I Day 2!

2008-07-15T20:13:00.000-07:00

N.I=neighbor invasion! XD
yesterday i've met this beautiful+passionate woman (孫媽媽) and we said we'll go visit our neighbor routinely. today we met @ 3 pm in front of her house. it's our second day of N.I~
today felt like hotter than yesterday.....we walked under the sun for 3 hrs again.
aniwayz, today we've rang the doorbell of around 15-20 houses. some of them are not home, some of them were like...."no! thank you!" even before i introduced myself= =! that's so not polite....:( but we still prayed for 9 people today! (if i remember it right....my brain memory is REALLY small......some of them i almost forgot their names now......T-T)

we prayed for some non-believers, i think 2 or 3 of them are Buddhist. but they didn't reject our prayers. 孫媽媽 gave them some Christian books to read, too. and alot of houses has Buddhism scriptures on the doors, one of them even has a Buddhist statue + Jesus and Maria's image outside of the door! so i just asked God to rebuke the spirit of idol worshipping. may Your Glory fall upon those houses!

there's a young Maxican mom named Priscella, she has 3 kids, so we just prayed for the family. and i gave her the youth camp flyer! wish she will let her kids join lo~

(man~ 我記性真的爆差的...............有一些人我幾乎都快忘記他們名子跟臉了.........maybe next time i should take their pictures....pu~ or at least write down their names right after i left their houses)

we visited a family from Taiwan, grandpa + grandmom (林先生和林太太) they are atheist, too. but they are willing to let us pray for them. we've been invited into their house, and the grandpa said his waist has been hurting since abt one yr ago, and lately, the hurting became more serious...so me and 孫媽媽 just prayed for healing to be released in his body. we prayed for about 5 mins. but he didn't really feel anything. so i decided to ask his phone number in order to call him and ask how's he feel days later. i can also pray for him again :)

those chinese speaking neighbors are really kind and sweet. they all asked us to come visit again if we want. i think this is called 人情味. haha~ i love them ^^

then we prayed for a single man named Paul (沒記錯的話orz) he lives there alone, and his partner is a cat named Tiger~ (really big and cute one) he seems kinda confused about wut we were doing. he kept asking "wut's prayer about? wut r u gonna do??" so i just told him that we will just simply ask God to bless him. then he agreed to let us pray for him :) and i just said a short prayer, ask the Lord to pour down blessing on him and let him experience Your love. after the prayer, unexpectedly, he asked "how am i gonna get in touch w/ u ?" so i gave him one impact business card, and he said he will prob come! wow~ i was so surprised! Jesus You are awesome!!

we kept walking...(我第一次知道我家社區原來還頗大的...= =!) and there were one man playing baseball w/ a young boy outside of their house. i said hi to them and said we love to offer them a prayer if they don't mind. the guy (i think his name is Danny) said we can pray for their health so we made a circle, holding each other's hand and did a short prayer. he was really nice and kind. me like^^ and the boy(Danny's nephew) is super cute >//<

then we visited 孫媽媽's frd's house. 蔡太太+蔡先生. they are believers, too. so we just chatted for about 20 mins. she was also really nice and filled w/ God's love. we prayed for each other. she even gave me 她自己做的饅頭! haha~ (reward from God? XD) and one of the room is now renting, it's $400 a month, with furnitures (bed, desk, some cabinets) if anyone wants to live in Rowland Heights, plz tell me. (i don't think anyone would wanna move here la.....lol)

and it's 6pm already, so me and 孫媽媽 just said an ending prayer for today. 然後我就回家做飯了~~

today is still awesome. i believe God will continue His work among those families/houses we've stop by today. Jesus You will touch their hearts one day, because they belong to You.
I love You. and I love my neighbors. special thx to 孫媽媽, she's so on fire! c'mon~ she's sixty-something and she has so much passion to do great thing for God! we should really learn from her!

You are toooooooooo AWESOME!!

2008-07-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

man~耶穌祢真的太太太太太讚太可愛了!!!!!!!!!
so yesterday i've made up my mind that i'm gonna pray for at least 5 strangers a day + i'm gonna go to my neighbors and share Jesus w/ them, and today, i put my notebook + impact business cards + water + youth camp flyers into a paper bag, 出發!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, at first i was standing outside of my house garage and hesitate, and thinking "am i really have the gut to do this? will i got rejected all the time? will those neighbors hate wut im doing?"....etc. and fear was kinda filled my brain. but then i asked God to remove all of my fear, and give me boldness, give me People that i can share Your love with. so after the prayer, i felt better, then i finally walked to my next door neighbor.... (i was standing outside my house for like 5 mins...struggling....=__=)

i stood in front of the door, then rang the bell, but no one answered. so i knocked on the door....but still no one answered. they're prob not home.

the 2nd house, i rang the bell twice, but still no one answered....at this moment i started to ask God "該不會每家都沒人吧= =! 至少給我一家有人在的啊!!! 我都練習第一句台詞練那麼久了.......lllll" haha

so i kept walking, the third house, i rang the bell, finally, there's someone opening the door!
it was a grandpa, he seems like speaking chinese, so i just started out speaking chinese to him..i said "我是住在前面兩家的鄰居, 想說暑假沒上課, 就想出來幫別人禱告! 不知道你有沒有什麼事需要禱告的?" he said he doesn't need any prayer....but his wife (孫媽媽) came out and talked to me, so i share my goal (wut am i doing...etc) then she was so surprised+amazed! she asked me to go inside, sit and talk more. she's a believer,too and most of her family members are also Christian. we talked for like 30 mins! (or more) just chatting about our lives. at the end, i prayed for her famliy (those who are not believer yet) and just asked God to pour down blessing on her family. then she prayed for me too! we asked God to bless my school work, my family, and give me more boldness+courages while i'm doing this "neighbor invasion", and all these is for You! then i was about to leave and go on to the next house, suddenly she said "can i join you? let's go together to share Jesus w/ our neighbors!" omg~~~~~i was like totally surprised and happy to heard that!! of course~!! it's better to have at least 2 person together!

here's the awesome part, she said..."i was just praying yesterday that i could find someone who can go to the neighbors with me and share." then here i am!! isn't that amazing!!? God You are really faithful and You've planned out everything for us!!

so two of us went to her next door, no one home. we went to the next house, a lady opened the door, she's a Filipino named Patra. i said we are her neighbors and we just like to walk around and praying for people. Patra is a Christian too! her husband was even a minister! but he passed away already. then we just chatted for another 20 mins or so....(older lady can Really Talk for a long time!) (and yes, we've got invited into her house) she shared about her famiy and life.. she got 7 children! (wow) and we even went see her back yard, she has planted soooooo many fruits!!! (mango + orange + tomato + guava + the other one i forgot the name= = it's a rare fruit i guess...) aniwayz, at the end we prayed for America and the upcoming presidential election. we asked God to rise up a Godly man and bring revival to our land!

i love meeting my neighbors! actually this is the first time in my life that i talked to a neighbor voluntarily~ and it felt really great!

we kept walking to the next house, and 孫媽媽 knows the member of that family. The one who opened the door named Amy. she's a Christian, too. but her grandchildren are not. and she was about to go out to pick up her grandchildren (i think= =) so we didn't have much time chatting but me and 孫媽媽 still prayed for her family, also asked God to encounter those kids, let them feel Your love directly.

then 孫媽媽 said she wants to visit 黃太太 who also lives in this community. coz her daughter-in-law said 黃太太有來找過她可是當時她人在台灣. so we went to 黃太太's house, she lives w/ her husband. and finally, we encountered some non-believer. 黃太太 is a Buddhist, and the funny part is that she's really not into religion stuffs. to me, she's more like a atheist. she was forcing to be a Catholic when she was young, but she didn't really like it. and she try to study Bible but she doesn't get it at all. she doesn't understand the meaning nor the stories. then years ago, she started to read Buddhist scriptures, turned out she can understand the words, that's why she started to believe in Buddhism. and she's a true person, she said she actually hates Christian bcoz of lots bad experiences (like she saw alot of Christian doing bad stuffs) (i said those ppl are fake Christian..) and she really don't understand why "信我者得永生" "神愛世人" only those who believe in Him can be saved, then why He said He loves EVERYONE? does Everyone means those who believed?
i didn't really know the answer to that question....but i explained that a lot of ppl are like u, they want facts, facts, and facts. they only believe wut they saw. and both of me and 孫太太 shared our testimonies w/ 黃伯伯+黃太太. we were all 反感 Christian before, but God really changed us through His love. we stayed there and talked for at least one hour! but she was really 排斥基督教....she doesn't want prayer at all. but she said i'm welcome to their house : ) (this is gonna be a long term war to fight! i'll prob go there once a wk or sth.....= = hahaha)

after we left their house, we prayed together for God's mercy fall upon that family, and asked Jesus to encounter them face to face, to open up their eyes and tenderize their hearts!

the time was about 6:30pm, (i went out at abt 2:15) wow~ that's a long time sharing~ and we walked back home. 孫太太's daughter-in-law just came home w/ two kids. (they are twins!! super cute~~!!) so we said hi to each other and stuffs...
and we decided to do this together in the future~! wakakaka~ God just gave me a wonderful partner today! we gonna invading the whole community!!!! Jesus let Your Glory fall!!

this is just too amazing + exciting! people at impact, it's time to be crazy!!! let's all do crazy things for Jesus this summer!!!!

be the CRAZY one!

2008-07-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

today's msg is like a hit at my head!
what will i do for this summer? what should i do?
am i wasting my time on those unnecessary stuffs?

dude, i wanna share Jesus w/ ppl! ppl NEED the Lord!!
it's time to wake up! there's no time to waste anymore! it's time to go out and be CRAZY!!!
i won't lose anything when i stand in front of others and share God's love, instead, i'll gain something! those ppl will gain something,too!

so............
i'm going out!
i've made up my mind. i'll pray for at least 5 strangers a day!
i'll knock on neighbor's door and ask for prayer request + share Jesus w/ them! (....ok...maybe not knocking... i can ring the doorbell =__=!)

Go Go Go~~!!!!
I wanna be CRAZY!!! I AM CRAZY~!!!!!

and it's all for You, Lord.

Revivalist

2008-06-28T23:27:00.000-07:00

So this wknd I went back to Irvine to met w/ some old friends. On Friday noon, I had lunch w/ Jay, he used to be my "drinking mate". He knows that I'm a Christian now, so I just share w/ him about my change. And I said to him that when he needs help or face some problems, he can always ask God for help. God really listens. He wasn't interested at knowing more about Jesus, but I still shared that everytime I speak to the Lord, He always answers. At the end, Jay said I can pray for him, if anything happens, he will pray too in the future. Well...at least he is willing to let me pray for him~ XP I'll keep on sharing Jesus w/ him. Go go go!!!

On Saturday, which is today, I went to Irvine Spectrum w/ Avon. She used to be my co-worker from JJ bakery and she's a Christian, too. Actually she goes to Irvine Bread of Life church, and last Sunday someone bought her one "can i pray for u?" tee. So I decided to bring her to do some city invasion XD 不然也不知道她什麼時候才會出去幫別人禱告....gotta push her, let her come out of her comfort zone~!
So we were window shopping while city invading~ The first girl we went up has casting on her ankle, and she was using a cane. I asked her what happened and she said she was in a car accident. Then we asked can we offer her a prayer? She refused, so we didn't insist.
Avon seems really nervous, so I explained that when we doing this, it's not about us, it's about God. It's about God encountering those people. Even though some people really堅持不需要禱告 I still believe God is gonna meet him/her when the right time comes.

While I was looking around in a store, I saw a man w/ casting on his arm, and he was walking towards me! So I said hi to him and asked what happened to his arm? can I pray for him? He said he was in a car accident, too....o_O And he broke his shoulder, his arm, and his ankle. Surprisingly he was really willing to let us pray for him.(而且很有禮貌) So we did a short prayer, simply ask God to release healing and remove the pain from his body. After the prayer I asked him how does he feel? He said he feels good. And stupid me didn't continue praying >__< but I believe God is gonna keep on doing His work in AJ (yes..I remember his name!)

We kept walking, after 我們繞了一圈, I saw a man standing in front of a booth, and there's a sign says "Free Prayer" on it! I was so amazed+happy to see that so I walked up to him and we chatted for couple minutes. His name is Mark. He said he do that not just praying for people, but to share the Lord w/ them. And he do it several times a year. I told him we are doing the same thing routinely, like just go out and pray for people + taking signs to high schools/library...etc. We were just so glad to see each other doing that. Me and Avon were so encouraging. God is really waking up people to take their cities, to share His love to others. I totally believe Irvine is gonna have revival happening! God is doing His work right now!
Mark gave me a website called "The Way of the Master", I just went thru it quickly, it's really awesome, if you got time you can check it out : http://www.wayofthemaster.com/index.shtml

After our faith has been boost up, I started to look for some "alone target" (people who is alone have no place to run~!! hahaha) I saw a lady sitting on a chair, she seems nice, so we walked up to her and ask does she needs any prayer? She said her husband is a Christian,too but she doesn't really need prayers. Then her husband came, his name is Michael, we prayed for him about getting a job. Ask Jesus to be his guide, lead him to His path. He said he was very impressed about what we do, he should start doing it, too!

I'm really looking forward to see one day everyone is praying for strangers out there. This land needs revivalists. And I'm super willing to be one!
Thank you Jesus for today. I pray that You will give Avon more boldness + courages and one day she will become a revivalist, too!

Hallelujah~~! I love You (heart)

Jesus Culture + Irvine trip

2008-06-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

Man i've grown so much for the past wknd!
We departed on Thursday afternoon to OC (my hometown!) The first night was already crazy! The worship is just awesome, everyone there was so hungry for God. And when we worship, we lift His name High! I learned alot from the preaches for the 3 days. I'll just write it down as points:

-Not just encounter, but encounter for a reason/purpose (go out!!)
-When we get a clear view of God, we have the power! God can beat anything!
-Holiness is relational
-Parent loves us to look like them; God loves us to look like Him!
-Holiness is not just seperating from sin, also set apart for God (We are toothbrush for Jesus! toothbrush only use for brushing teeth, you don't use it to brush toilet or anything else!)
-Goal is dream with deadline
-Don't let your circumstance decide what you do
-It's not about "you're gonna be", it's "you already are"
-Bring God to specific environment, He can encounter others (like workplace, campus...etc)
-If you really don't like the bad attitude, you gotta kill yourself in order to change the world
-Don't wait for other ppl, if no one go, you go!
-Revival is not a side thing to do, you gotta give Everything
-Burn the bridge (no turning back) if you wanna be a revivalist

These are not all of the msg, but what I really learned is finally I can FREELY worship, and finally I can go to a person by myself and ask "can I pray for you?"

I love worship, but somehow I care about how others look at me. However, on the first night, when I saw everyone was worshipping crazily, I realized that we are not worshipping for the people around us, we worship for God. That night I started my crazy freely worship journal :D

On Saturday, we went to a mall (near my community college!) for city invasion. I team up with Andy + Sarah. We prayed for several people. We saw this high schooler sitting outside AMC theater smoking alone. When we almost passed him, I insist Andy to talk to him coz that boy kept looking at us. So we prayed for him then Sarah started to ask him does he know about Jesus? In the end, Sarah led him into Christ! Woohoo~~!!
And I decided to talk to a girl sitting on a chair by myself. Even though she didn't want any prayer, but I'm surprised that I have the gut to talk to her. And then I talked to a lady in a supermarket again, although she rejected me resolutely but thank You Jesus for giving me Boldness! I love You~!!!!
I think I can talk to anyone and ask then if they need prayer from now on~ wakaka

Btw, during the conference, a prayer leader asked me am I an artist? (the first sentence she spoke to me!) I said yes, then she prayed/prophecied over me that I'll use art to share God's love in the future. That's awesome :) Actually I want to use art+music to impact people, to bring people near God.

================================

Yesterday we (Jack, Annie, Eric, me and Jennifer + super sales Priscilla) went to Irvine靈樑堂 to share. I shared about how God changed me in front of hundreds people, even though I looked calm, in fact, my stomach started to ache minutes before we went up to stage because I was too nervous!! Thank God I didn't panic on the stage...
After the service, I prayed for 4-5 people. Just simply asked God to pour down mercy and love on them, and give them boldness/courage.

Then I went out to the booth to help selling t-shirts. A lady bought one, then asked me to pray for her granddaughter becasue she's 8 years old but still can't speak. So I prayed for God's mercy to fall upon her, let her speak of Your goodness and praise Your name. I believe God can heals her for sure! Because He is always faithful and full of love!

At a point, I picked up my cell phone to see if anyone called me, and I saw 7 text msg! They all come from the same person which is one of my best friends when I was living in Irvine. In the msg, he said he is so glad to see me became so much in love with God. He believes God is real because it's just a miracle that I became a Christian! And he said he will try to go after God's heart, too like I do. I'm so encouraging to him. When I saw those text msg I almost cried! coz I didn't know I can impact my best firend like that.
I called Eddy(his name) yesterday night and we chatted for 2 hrs. He's been a Christian since he was little coz he live in a Christian family. He go to church every sunday but he's not really passion about Jesus. He said he can feels God while he's @ church, he've been touched. But when he's out into the world (at work...etc) he forget about the feeling again. He doesn't have the motivation to run after God or do things for Him...
Lord I just pray that You will encounter Eddy FACE TO FACE, You will let him feel Your tangible presence and love. Open up his heart and live in it. Stir up the flame inside of him! Give him a heart that is for You alone. Let him have a deeper relationship with You. Jesus just pour down Your magnificent love on him in Your mighty name! Amen and amen!!!

I'm planing to go back to Irvine this Friday-Saturday, and meet with some old friends (include Eddy for sure). Please pray for me and Eddy. Pray that God will use me to lead Eddy closer to Him. Thanks alot ^^

This is such a long post.....
God is super awesome! Lord, continue Your good work in me! I love You <3

Hallelujah~!!!!

2008-06-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

I asked God to remove my anxiety, jealousy, distrust, diffidence, anger. and He puts TONS of 討厭的事 in front of me! 每天都面對到那些人事物, 每天腦袋都會固定出現那些人事物!

Hallelujah~~~~!!!!!!!!!

And I'm learning how to deal with those neg. emotions day by day...
most of the time I'll just praise the Lord, and think about how much He loves me, then my mood will turn better :)

Jesus only You can heals me. Only You can saves me. Makes me more like You~ I wanna love like You. I'm not afraid of those unpleasant things, because I have You.

ps. 聽來聽去還是worship最好聽~~~ 最近常常突然大叫Jesus I love You/God You are wonderful~!! 室友們應該覺得我怪怪的.... 阿哈哈

keep praying+sharing

2008-06-01T01:36:00.000-07:00

我不懂God's timing... 應該說, I know God has His own timing, but i just wish that He can save the whole earth in one day!

今天和andy, brian, lilian, renee去Leeland+Skillet的 concert
結束後有傳道人講有關天堂與地獄, 是時候接受耶穌和祂一起永生了!
講完有open field讓non-believer 決志. I kept praying for brian, lilian and renee. again and again. 可是他們還是沒有想要相信神的決心.. 雖然很失望, 但是看到field上有著上百人決定接受耶穌, 真的很替他們也替神感到開心+感動 :)

後來去吃飯.... 我一直在想God's timing
到底是什麼時候? 耶穌到底要什麼時候才救那些很倔將的人?
然後就開始哭........ 只要想到那些人還沒有被救眼淚就不停的掉

and then andy explained to me

Jesus, i believe You have the best timing. i believe You have the best plan for each one of us.
I will keep praying for others. I will keep weeping.

Set the world on Fire- Britt Nicole

2008-05-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

[CHORUS]
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands

[CHORUS]

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do
My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me

"學弟等一下!!"

2008-05-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

禮拜六晚上作了一個夢
我夢到我回台灣, 還有J, Andy, Jack跟Sarah 也都在台灣
人到台灣了, 我們想的還是city invasion! 夢裡的畫面是我和j在路邊, 準備攔截人
j先跟一個路人甲講話, 可是他講沒兩句就突然蹲下, 然後路人甲就走掉了~ 我很疑惑的過去問他怎麼了? 他說他突然腳抽筋之類的..很痛, 然後很難過
就在同時, 有一群雙十(我的國中)的學生從我們旁邊走過... 我就在掙扎要追去跟他們聊天還是先留下來照顧j.. j就說"當然是找他們啊!"(很激動) 所以我就邊衝向那群學生邊大叫"學弟等一下!!!!!!!!"(整個超有魄力+不像我會做的事!)

就和他們聊起來...說我以前也是雙十的....blah~
其中有一個男生肚子痛, 我就給他止痛藥吃(我會隨身帶止痛藥, 因為太常肚子痛了...orz)
過了一段時間, 他還在痛, 我就問能不能幫他禱告? 他整個很堅持的拒絕了! 不知道他是在堅持什麼= = 我說就算禱告之後還是痛他也沒什麼損失阿~ 可是他還是不讓我幫他禱告

fine...我就繼續跟他們hang out. 連續兩天, 一起出去玩兼傳福音...XD
然後兩天過後他們一群小男生居然都信主了!!!

夢大概是這樣..有一些details沒打出來, 不過我覺得這個夢的重點是:

我一定要拿出大喊"學弟等一下!!"的勇氣跟氣魄~! 在以後city invasion/preach的時候
一定要更不要臉一點..............!!! 害羞滾開!!! wakaka

跟耶穌約會

2008-04-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

Last wknd was awesome!

Thursday night was the first day of Onething, the sermon was about intimacy with Christ and we also need to remove those distractions that are stealing our desire for God. Get rid of them!! Focus on Jesus!!!

Friday noon, bunch of people went to city invasion @ Gabrielino High School. That was my first time for CI. I was extremely nervous before we started because I'm not that kind of person who is good at speech nor talking to strangers. So I prayed to God to give me boldness + courages. And He did (not surprisingly). =D
So me and George team up, he prayed for most of the people, and I prayed for three girls too! I think once you did it, it will get easier and more fluent after the first time. And you will definitely get addicted to it!

Friday + Saturday, cried alot. God's love is so tangible and strong! I can feel His love 24/7. and I want to love Him back with all my heart. I wanna do crazy stuffs for Him!

Sunday service was lots of fun! All of us went out for CI. This time I went to Temple City High, Jack talked to people so 自然! I wish I could be like that~ And I prayed for a Chinese man, just ask God to pour blessing on his family.
CI is sooooooooooo fun!!! plus exciting!!!!! I wanna do it more!! I think the reason I love it is that I get to share God's love to others. I want them to know God cares about them, and love them so much~!

So basically, the whole wknd I was dating with Jesus. And didn't have time for H.W + study. I got a exam on Monday morning. And I study a little on Sunday night + Monday morning (before class) Really, just A Little. (since I was super tired on Sunday + I really can't read English for a long time)
I prayed to Jesus to help me get thru that exam. (at least not flunked = =)
So with a little content of the note/text in my brain, I went to the marketing class, got the exam sheet. And guess what? All of the questions on the sheet was cover in those small amount of note that I've crammed into my brain!! I was like...邊寫考卷邊笑!! hahahaha~ Jesus loves me! I love Jesus!! Jaeson Ma said "If we seek God first, put Him at the first place, We'll get straight A's!!" That is so true~!

Yesterday noon, I was on the way home from school, and I saw this grandpa carrying 3-4 huge bags of bottles for recycle. And he was on a bike. 他整個騎的很不穩, 晃的很嚴重... when I saw that scene, my heart ache so bad, almost cried. And there's this urge that bumped into my mind, I want to help him!
Usually when I saw people in trouble, I'll just feel sorry then walk by, but this time I decided to make a U-turn and go back to help him! I drove near him, and ask does he need helps. But he didn't reply. So I asked again in Chinese. 結果他居然真的是說中文的XD! 我問他需不需要幫忙? He said no, but thank you, young lady. So I didn't insist.

Eventho he didn't let me help him, but I feel that this experiece is an absolute break thru for me! I believe that God has put more and more boldness in me. And my personality is changing in a good way because of Him!

Lord I just wanna say I love You. Eventho I say it all the time XD But I just can't thank You/love You enough! I love You love You love You love You love You soooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wakakaka~

Jesus loves me!

2008-04-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

Jesus Loves Me!!!
耶穌愛我!!!

oh yay!!

city invasion!!!! go!!!!

A weekend full of tears

2008-04-07T13:01:00.000-07:00

I didn't share this on Sunday coz it's kind of complicated...didn't know how to put into words. But after some organizing, I think its easier to understand now.

Ever since I became a Christian, I thought I'm doing pretty good on the spiritual growth; I worship/pray everyday, talk to Jesus alot, read Bible, and doing some other stuffs for Him(like the pro-life thing). Until Friday night, when Mark asked us to kneel down and ask the Lord for refresh/renew as the background music flowed(Annie singing Hosanna), it hit me so strong because I realized, there ARE Issues between me and God! I've done something bad. I just didn't take it seriously.
As the lyrics go "Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen..." tears just falling like stream. I asked God to forgive me, to renew me.

After the meeting, I found that I still have the same problem going on. It makes me felt like...I'm still unclean. God didn't wash away the stain on me. And I was kind of depressed, but then I thought that I'll just deal with my problem by myself, since it looks like only me can solve it.

Til' Saturday night, we were worshipping. I stood at my seat, didn't think much. Trying to soak into God's presence. As the music played, I felt my legs/knee were getting heavier and heavier. But I try to ignored it. Somehow it gets even more heavy! So I fought with it until a point that I shout out "I don't want to pretend like nothing happened ANYMORE!" with the movement of kneeling down, almost curled myself. And I started to cry like crazy coz I realized that I was rejecting God. I thought I can deal with my issue by myself. How stupid is that! I cried to God to heal me. To clean me up. I kneel till my legs gets numb, 然後鼻涕已經流下來, 才依依不捨(?)的坐回椅子上

However, God still havn't solve my problem yet.

I was so depressed. And started to think I'm so dirty. Why is this happening to me?

Days still carry on...it's Sunday, the worship started from nowhere (haha), totally got control by the holy spirit. It struck me again when Sarah started to sing the song from the Lord. How he loves us and how precious are we in His eye. No one can touch His heart like we do...etc. I couldn't help crying again! Isn't God wonderful? Even though I have problems, I am unclean, He still loves me! His love is so great and strong. His presence is so tangible.
I felt so PEACE after that. No more depression. Because I know that He loves me as I am.

And now let me tell u what's my issue. These few weeks, I kept seeing some unclean images in my mind.
It's really disgusting. I hate it. Somehow I can't help seeing it. It just pop into my mind from nowhere. As it appear, I'll ask myself to erase it. But it just keep on emerge sometime during the day.
Now I'm wondering is it me or it's satan's move?

Please pray for my healing.
Jesus I really need Your help. Cast out the evil. In your mighty name, Amen!

if it matters to u, it matters to Him

2008-04-02T14:49:00.000-07:00

上禮拜五跟Andy去HRC. 這次的speaker是Bill Johnson.
他說到他聽到很多testimonies是銀行帳戶突然多出錢, 或是錢包裡一直有錢出現(拿出來了又繼續出現!) 當下聽了覺得超amazing! 還在心裡想說.."Wow~ 我回家也要看一下帳戶有沒有多錢" 哈哈哈
不過回家忙一忙也就忘了~

到禮拜六, 收到學校寄來的financial aid. 前幾次都差不多退我九百多塊..
這次我打開來看, 居然有兩千多!!!!
當時整個愣住......想說怎麼會這麼多?? 然後就想到禮拜五的speech, 然後就開始大叫"ah~~~~ thank You Jesus!!!! I love You~~!!!!"

哈哈哈哈

God is really amazing!

just the begining

2008-03-27T11:51:00.000-07:00

so we went to this abortion clinic @ pasadena on Mon. (me, john, sarah, alice, jas+3 frds of sarah)
alice and jasmine post wut happened in their blogs already so im not gonna repeat again. XD
just a few words from my experience.
(ps, i hate typing english.....T-T my grammer is sooooooooooo bad!!!!!)

most of the time i was standing+ holding the sign. it's the first time im doing that, somehow i dont feel shame or sth. i was praying+ crying at the same time. i just cant help weeping whenever i think of those unborns. they wanted to see the world but they can't.
i prayed to God that whoever saw the signs/saw the flyer/talked to anyone from us, will change their view toward abortion. they will never thought about doing abortion. and they will tell the people around them not to abort. because abortion is totally WRONG.

i think God is really amazing. b4 i became a christian, i used to think that abortion is not a big deal. i've been to an abortion clinic with my cousin to pick up her co-worker like 3-4 yrs ago. back then i just thought that abortion looks terrible because my cousin's frd looks so pale and weak after the surgery. i didnt thought about the baby.
i was even thinking getting abort if i get pregnant. (coz of the messy life i used to live)

thank God that i've changed. now i know God created everyone. no one should be abandoned.

thank God to bring me to impact, so i have many brothers+sisters to walk with. and to grow together in God's kingdom.
sometimes i feel like God bring me to impact to encourage people. although im not good at talking to others like johnny and sarah do, but i'll always consecrate myself to Him. i believe God has different plans for different people. im just doing wut i need to do. :)

Lord Jesus i pray for more mercy+boldness fall upon us. please use all of us to let people know abortion is wrong. we are Yours. those babies are Yours.

There's No One Like You

Every morning I open my eyes to see Your face, Jesus
Every night I close my eyes and hope to see You in my dream
I feel alive when I feel Your presence
Oh I can’t live without Your touch

Every moment I spent in this life is for You alone, Lord
Every second I sing with my soul because of You have created
I need You by my side so I can walk straight
Hear my cry and hold me tight

There’s no one can be like You
No one can make me feel secure
You are the only one I need
You gave a purpose in my life

When I turn back to You with selfless faith
You have brought me Your promises and free my soul

Gotta do something!

2008-03-12T00:39:00.000-07:00

看了之後整個心很痛, 我想神的心一定更痛...

I'm gonna go to an abortion clinic, passing out the flyer below and pray for people sometime in my spring break (3/24-3/31). Who wants to join?

Let's DO something, not just saying.

牛仔很忙, Christian更忙!

2008-03-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

自從變成基督徒之後, 我驚覺到一件事, 那就是時間怎麼可以這麼不夠用? 怎麼可以忙成這樣??

前幾天打給Karen 跟她聊天
那天在學校做project從下午1點弄到晚上11點, 走到停車場的途中打給她
她說.."妳好辛苦喔! 禮拜一到禮拜四要上課, 五六日又都在弄教會的東西"
我回答..."一定要的啊~!"

不只是我
應該每個基督徒都忙到炸掉吧!
還是學生的, wkday都要上課, 要讀書要應付考試
我是比較少在讀書而都在趕projects, 常常在學校待到半夜 (目前最晚紀錄:兩點半!)
已經在工作的(像是andy. jack and annie...etc) 也是一堆works needs to to

扣掉上課上班的時間, 其他人或許可以休息, 可以出去玩
但是基督徒(真正愛神的人)卻都花在神身上, 不管是去教會或小組或是傳福音
我們每個人都忙到亂七八糟的境界!

今天在開車的時候想著.. 為什麼我們要這麼忙?

耶穌難道沒有給我們放鬆的時間嗎?
難道祂希望我們不眠不休的為祂拼命嗎?

並不是

但為什麼我要選擇為祂忙碌?

或許是
當我看到越來越多人願意接近神, 進而相信祂愛祂; 臉上就忍不住綻放微笑吧!

我心甘情願不睡覺的忙, because i feel happy and pleased when i saw people get saved.

Go and Burn- Vision by Anthony West

2008-02-18T12:31:00.000-08:00

I see myself on a journey to the Sun. The Sun is a long way off, but still blindingly intense. Darkness fills my vision if I turn away from it. As I get closer to the Sun I start to feel the warmth of it on my body. I not only see the light but I also start to experience its effect on my body. The heat increases the closer I get, until the intensity begins to make me feel uncomfortable, but I’m drawn ever closer.

The heat gets so intense that my skin and flesh start to burn, but instead of seeing and feeling decay, there is transformation or transition. The feelings are very intense, my brain tells me it’s pain, but it’s really like nothing I have felt before. As the “pain” leaves I see what I can only describe as “Sun matter” taking the place of my flesh. I am literally changing into the material I am being drawn towards as my flesh gets consumed; It’s best described as having the appearance of gold and white molten metal.

I realize that the new material needs to be kept white hot or it starts to solidify, go grey and become heavy if it is allowed to cool. Finally I am close enough to the Sun that my whole body is like molten metal. I shine as the Sun shines and radiate heat and light with the same intensity but on a smaller scale. I see gigantic flames that leap off the Sun’s surface and those same flames now leap off me. Suddenly there is a thunderous voice commands “Go”. From all over the Sun’s surface I see thousands of ‘bodies’ of flame leaping from the Sun and descending to Earth; As they descend there are cords of flame connecting the ‘bodies’ to the Sun. My spirit tells me I must join them; I want to join them. I jump off towards the Earth with my flame cord connected to the Sun.

As I stand on the Earth I feel a big difference; when I was on the Sun the heat intensity was both inside me, and all around me. Whereas now I feel the cool of my surroundings and only burn from the inside out. I see the flaming cord as my lifeline, as a deep sea diver sees his ‘air line’.

I notice that my feet start to cool on the cold earth and in response I draw energy down my cord and then direct the flames to the parts of my body that need it. As I do this, my feet burn again and I affect my surroundings rather than my surroundings affecting me.

I ask myself what I must do, and the same thunderous voice commands “burn”. As I am already burning I ask for direction but Heaven is silent. Then I see people start to come over to me, drawn by the light and then the heat; some observe from afar and some come close. I offer out my hand, some take it but jump back when their hand feels the intensity of my burning. I tell them to “trust me, hold on and look past the ‘pain’”. Some refuse and get angry with me for hurting them, saying “they were fine before but now their hand hurts”. A few take my hand again and hold on and are transformed just as I was. I take some of my cord and attach it to them and repeat to them my Father’s commands, “Go” and “Burn”.

This process of multiplication continues until there are so many cords connecting the Sun to the Earth that they join into one, great, River and engulf the whole Earth. Until the whole Earth is covered there are those who walk around with burns on their hands, resenting the Church and blaming it for their discomfort; to an extent they are right. The problem is they want to hold onto their flesh and refuse to give up what they know for something better. They had their eyes open to the frailty of man but refused to go any further.

Then there are some that went the whole way and became burning ones but didn’t guard their cord; it was weakened as the cold Earth influenced them. They now walk around almost disabled by the solid, heavy metal that has coated their body; they are more bound now than they were before. Some regret making the move, but others look for someone with a flame to ignite them again. They don’t realize that they are still connected to the Sun and even though their cord is cool they can pull down flames again to ‘burn’. It is important to show and tell them this news otherwise new people will be reluctant to be transformed, looking at their present predicament.

The Lord said, “The ‘pain’ that is felt when flame meets flesh is phantom. It should hurt but I didn’t want it to, so I took that pain at Calvary. There is no pain in coming to me, only transformation. What you feel, can be used as a weapon by the enemy to support a lie; which can prevent or hinder further progress.”

The Spirit asked me “at what stage I thought I was in the Vision”. I placed myself near to the Sun being transformed. The Lord said “No. You are on the Earth as one of my burning ones, connected to Heaven and transforming the earth. The intensity at which you burn is dependent on how much flame you draw down from Heaven and pass on to others; The more you give, the more you will receive, that is the way of growth. I have made all of Heaven available, you choose how much of Heaven you get.”

I then asked, “How do I burn?” “That is something you don’t need to concern yourself with” came the reply. “What you must concentrate on is feeding the fire. Feed on Heaven and you will burn, making sure every action, thought, motive, deed and plan has it’s origins in the Kingdom."

- Vision by Anthony West

We're living on a cold, bloody earth. Tragedies happens everyday, it crashed our hearts, our faith. It made us think that we are lost. We have nothing to lean on. But we MUST NOT forget that we still have the cord that is connected to the Sun. We can "download" heat from it whenever we felt coldness.
The Lord never give up anyone. He never let go anyone. He loves us so much that he will always be right there for us. It's just there are times that our eyes had been covered by the devil's hand. he made us thought that we are breaking off from God. That is totally deceitful!

When we felt lost and cold, we need to know that God is waiting for us to seek help, He is right there getting ready to transmit heat to us.

Go and Burn.
Spread out God's love.
Save the Earth.

It's me...

2008-02-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

原來我才是那個需要被救的... 原來我才是那個需要改變的
怎麼我一直沒發現?

老是說著要救身邊的朋友, 要把他們帶到光亮的地方
結果卻根本沒花時間在他們身上

明明住在同個屋簷下, 怎麼會一個禮拜見不到一次..
怎麼會一個禮拜講不到一次話...?

是我的問題

我很自私的把時間都花在課業和教會上
對於他們卻那麼的冷淡

這樣子的我還想要救人?

今天真的看清了... 有種一巴掌被打醒的感覺..
很難過的一直哭

對不起...我一直都錯了..... 一直沒有把問題的原點放對
我會盡力拯救我們的關係, 我會發自內心的關懷你們
給我一次機會, 好嗎?

Lord Jesus, help me
mold me and shape me
help me change my personality
show me how to love like You
I need strength

Save me

Be happy, and have Faith in Lord

2008-02-13T12:12:00.000-08:00

禮拜日已經share過的東西, 不過還是記下來~

I
上禮拜五又撞車, 我大概 3 個月前才剛撞過一次, 所以撞車當天我心情很差, 因為沒有錢修車
那天晚上就有一個朋友打電話問我人有沒有怎樣? 我說我沒事, 只是車爛了而已= =
然後他就說 " 還好你上次撞的還沒修 ! 不然就白修了 " 我聽了就整個大笑 ! 心情好蠻多的~
後來我在用電腦, 他就突然傳 msn 訊息過來說 " 我有跟神禱告, 求祂讓妳可以很平安 "
我看到之後就大叫啊~!!! 因為他不是 christian, 而且對基督教還蠻排斥的. 可是他居然試著跟神禱告, 整個超開心的 ~!

隔天我在讀聖經, 讀到羅馬書第五章第三節, 說道 " 就是患難中也是歡歡喜喜的, 因為知道患難生忍耐 "
就覺得, 我們不管發生多不好的事, 都還是要 have faith in God, 不要把自己沉溺在負面的情緒裡

II
前情提要: 我以前在感情上很隨便, 就 like.. 已經有男朋友了可是還是會跟別人搞曖昧或是同時跟好幾個交往

大概上個禮拜, 某一天我一個人在學校 cafeteria 吃東西, 然後就有一個男生過來問說我旁邊有沒有人坐 ? 沒有的話他可不可以坐那裡 ?
我說就可以阿, 後來就聊起來 , 大概講一下我們住哪裡什麼 major 那類的
他說他住在temple city. 我就跟他說我都有去一個在 temple city 的教會, 問他有沒有興趣一起來, 結果他居然超爽快的就答應 ! i was like....wow! 怎麼會這麼順利啊 ?? 就很驚訝也很開心
最後我們就有留電話

但是過了兩天, 我再跟他確定說是不是真的有要來我們教會? 我可以跟他講怎麼走那類的
他態度變得跟幾天前不一樣, 他說他不想來, 我就有點失望 ..可是還是想說沒關係以後還有機會
可是後來他一直打給我, 或是傳簡訊, 就一直找我單獨出去看電影什麼的
我就開始覺得他怪怪的.... like....他的心態有問題, 我會感覺的出來他蠻隨便的. 因為我以前也是那種人, 所以我會感覺的出來這個人是不是跟以前的我一樣

到最後我就不接他電話了

原本還會想說.. 這樣是不是不太好, 很沒禮貌
一直到禮拜六我們在上201, Jack講到說我們會受到試探, 然後當我們受到試探的時候不應該去跟那個idea communicate而是要馬上逃離! 就..趕快跑就對了!

我聽完之後就覺得.. 會認識那個男生, 應該是一個試探
撒旦知道我以前做過的事, 它知道我的weakness是什麼, 然後就故意丟一個人到我面前, 看我會不會不聽神的話, 而重複以前做過的錯事..

我很高興我逃離試探, 沒有繼續跟他牽扯下去!

如果大家有遇到試探, 尤其是那種你曾經犯過的 , 一定要更堅定自己的心, 然後遵守神的話, and have Faith in Him~!

You Won't Relent

You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours

Set me as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arms
For there is love is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
Many waters can not quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

I don't wanna talk about You like You not in the room
I wanna look right at You
I wanna sing right to You

God would You take all of me, use all of me,
Because I'm Yours. Forever and ever.

being attack, but i have Faith!

2008-02-06T11:49:00.000-08:00

昨天在學校待了一天, 從早上八點上課..中午回家吃了個午餐, 十二點又回學校
一路待到半夜兩點多!
為了做那個要命的printmaking....

aniwayz, 重點是, 我做到大概11點多的時候突然很depressed..
因為作品很失敗, 超醜! 然後我又好餓好累很想回家睡覺
所以就一陣想哭....

過了幾分鐘
我就大叫"Shut up emo!!! Jesus helps me!!!!!!!! I need You!!!!!!!!!!!"
(ps.在心裡叫啦...不然教室裡其他人會被嚇到= =!)
"撒旦滾開!!! 不要想來破壞我的心情!! 我什麼都不想, 只想神! 我才不會被打敗~~~~!!!!!!"

反正就一直鬼吼鬼叫... 哈哈哈

然後心情就變好了XD

oh yay! thank You Jesus, I love You!

long post!

2008-02-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

好多東西要講.... 也好多事情要做... 雖然很忙, 但我做的每件事都是為了神而做!
在Jesus Culture Encounter跟禮拜天的service都學到很多, 我慢慢打....= =!

[We should encounter God face-to-face]
我們應該要面對面的邂逅(this's a good word XD)神, 那個在我們心中的神, 而不是別人心裡的神
或許我們的親人或朋友很愛神, 然後跟我們說神有多好多偉大...等等, 但是我們本身並沒有遇見祂, 這是一件很難過的事情

We have to OWN Him in our heart! If we can't see His face, we'll never change the generation.

[save them!]
(Ezekiel 37)
37:4 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!
37:5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter, and you will come to life.
37:6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' "

We need to stop going to church only for our own goods, some ppl go to church because they feel happy; they get to be closer to God, and hanging out w/ brothers+sisters. It's nothing wrong w/ that, However, we need to start to feel/understand the pain from the broken ones. We need to feel the pain from those who don't know God yet!

We have the power to save them! God gave us the power to save them!

禮拜天Jack說到我們的identity是weeper, 我聽了真的感同身受+不能同意更多
我常常幫我的家人朋友禱告, 常常會邊禱告邊哭, 因為我只要想到他們都還不認識神就很心痛..
Most of them are atheists, 但是我總覺得每個人, 在心裡深處, 都需要something來依靠, i think that "something" is our God. And some of them doesn't know the purpose of their lives. They've been lock into this small dark box, and somehow i can feel their pain/無助. I want to save them! They need to be set FREE!

這個學期剛開學的時候, 有人在學校裡發迷你新約聖經, 可以隨身攜帶的那種, they will ask ppl "Are you saved?" + pass out the testament. A guy in front of me just walk by them, and said to his friend "I don't need to be saved~" My heart ache so bad when i heard that.. 我覺得世界上有好多這樣的人..以前的我也是之一, 我們並不是沒有問題/困難, 只是我們認為靠自己就行了, there's no one can help us. But that is so wrong! We NEED to be saved! And the only one who can save us is our God

It's time to start weeping for people, it's time to save them. I'll keep praying and trying for those who are still in the dark.

37:10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet─ a vast army.

那些被拯救的人, 將會成為極大的軍隊! The army for God! 聽起來就超振奮吧?? 所以大家趕快站起來, start reaching out and save!

[Dream Killers]
(Acts 14)
14:8 In Lystra there sat a man crippled in his feet, who was lame from birth and had never walked.
14:9 He listened to Paul as he was speaking. Paul looked directly at him, saw that he had faith to be healed
14:10 and called out, "Stand up on your feet!" At that, the man jumped up and began to walk.

人生中, 在我們追尋夢想的路途上, 常常會遇到打擊, 然後開始覺得累, 開始掙扎
But we gotta believe God wants to use us. How to fulfill the walk after our dream? → have Faith in Lord!

不管發生多糟糕的事, 都要繼續相信神, 相信神會帶我們渡過難關; 如果軟弱下來或是放棄了, 那撒旦就得逞了! We should never let that happened.

14:13 The priest of Zeus, whose temple was just outside the city, brought bulls and wreaths to the city gates because he and the crowd wanted to offer sacrifices to them.
14:14 But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard of this, they tore their clothes and rushed out into the crowd, shouting:
14:15 "Men, why are you doing this? We too are only men, human like you. We are bringing you good news, telling you to turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made heaven and earth and sea and everything in them.

很多時後我們會把自己扁低, 去崇拜一些我們覺得很厲害的人, and feel "I could never be like them."
But we have to understand that it's not about what we can do, it's about putting our identity in God. The crippled man was healed by Ordinary man. We are the ordinary men who can do extraordinary things! as long as we have Faith in God!

14:19 Then some Jews came from Antioch and Iconium and won the crowd over. They stoned Paul and dragged him outside the city, thinking he was dead.

Stoned is not like slashing a sword or shooting w/ gun. It's one stone after another. 很多時候我們好像會有一段時間特別衰, 做什麼都不順, 爛事一直發生, 停都停不了! and it just drives us crazy! That's the attack from Satan, what we should do is focus on how big is our God, not how big is the enemy. Don't forgot your dream when being attack. You have to hang on there, ask help from God, and keep your Faith in God.

[Vision V.S. Calling]
Vision and calling are Different. Vision is what you do. Calling is who you are.
We have to know our identity. What we do is not who we are!

比方說我今天決定要成為藝術家/設計師, 將來創作很多東西which relates to gospel, 但並不代表我必須一輩子被鎖在這個area. 或許某一天我發現對藝術失去了熱情, 然後開始難過說怎麼辦i lost my vision, what should i do....etc.
Vision might change thru out our lifetime, but the point is, We are created to love God, and we need to do everything base on it. We're not partnering w/ what we do, we are partnering w/ God.

[Encounter]
所以講了這麼多, 到底要怎麼encounter God?
We had a workshop for this experience. (然後我現在有點看不懂我寫的note...= =! 大概是當時太興奮了, 不知道自己在寫什麼....哈哈哈)
First close your eyes because there'are too many distractions around, put youself under a quiet/calm environment+mood. Don't start out by praying, just simply tell God that you WANT TO SEE HIM, you Need to see His face, you Need to feel Him, you WANT TO know everything about Him, you WANT to see His heart. You want to go to Heaven.

-Know how to posit your heart before God
-Sacrifice+Worship+Praise
-Desperation: How hungry are you? What would you give?

So we closed our eyes, and there were music playing as a background (but you can do it w/o music, quiet is fine, prob better?) I started out saying to God that I want to see Him, I want to feel Him, I need More of Him. And opened my heart. (it's really hard to explain how to open our hearts.....what i do is relax my body first, then don't think of anything but God, 把全部的注意力放在祂身上) I repeated the words in my mind, just kept saying and saying. Tell God that I'm longing for Him. Then I just felt my heart was stirring up. I saw the Glory of God rain down from heaven to the auditorium. And tear just came out of my eyes for no reason. I started to shake heavily. I kept saying to God I want More, I want to see You, for a period of time. Then I saw Jesus walk from a distance towards me, He was holding something in His hand, but I couldn't tell what it is from that distance. Until He walked to me, stood in front of me, then I've found that He was holding His heart. I realized He wants to give His heart to me, and I cried harder.... I told Him I want to give my heart to Him as well! I love Him! I'll do anything for Him!

God I really love You, would You come and take all of me?
I am Yours, You are mine.
So sweet >///<

For those who havn't encounter God yet, you can try the methods above. Open up your heart to Him, and crave for Him, I believe He is super willing to walk into your heart. :)

[God's Gameplan]
God had plan out a gameplan which is "I'm gonna give my son the nation." He needs us carry it out. Each one of us have different ways to win the game for God. We are the salt(function: clean, purify, heal) that God's gonna throw us into the cities/campuses/countries. We are significant and we are all major players in this game. Eech one of us should go into different areas (the 7 mountains) and bring revival to it!
We are Fire. No matter how small the flame is, it has the tendency to Spread!
不要小看自己, in God's Kingdom, we are BIG. We have the power to make transformation of our nations.

okie...大致上是這樣!
God I just wanna thank You for giving me the opportunity to go to Redding and get equipped. Thank You for always being Faithful. Always helps when we are in need. Always listens.
And thank You for keep us safe during the trip.

I love You more and more each day.

看這個! 超感人!
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

God is Gooooood!!!

2008-01-28T23:42:00.000-08:00

現在11:42了, 要趕快紀錄一下, 趕快去洗澡睡覺!! (明天又要6點起...orz)

今天晚上大概八點開始背的左上方肩頰骨一直有奇怪的抽緒感... 一直抽...like過幾分鐘就抽兩下~
然後我想起之前聽sarah說的testimony, 基督徒有時候會感覺哪裡莫名的不舒服/痛, 是因為週遭的人正在經歷那個病痛, and we should find out who is it and pray for them

所以我就轉頭問andy跟daniel 背會不會痛?? (他們正在我旁邊)
可是他們兩個背都好好的.......
好八, 那我就問MSN線上的人!
第一個問了odie.... 我突然打說"請問....你的背有沒有不舒服......(so random...lllorz)"
結果他說沒有.. 還說我是中邪喔? ........T..T
害我很想打他頭.....哈哈所以說不是他...然後我也不知道接下來該問誰..... 一直到剛剛, 我已經打算去洗澡了, 就在那個時候! Ben傳訊給我! (他是我們樂團的主唱)

他打說"我的背也在痠痛......因為前兩天睡覺沒睡好"
(我在msn名子上打"到底是誰的背不舒服???")
然後我就很小心翼翼的問..."是左上方嗎?" 結果他說是!!!

所以我就幫他禱告, 求醫治
禱告完他說好一點了! 原本脖子都不能往下彎, 但是現在可以了!!
Hallelujah~!

God You are Awesome!
We love You

encounter

2008-01-27T01:09:00.000-08:00

so today is the 2nd night i went to this conference @ Harvest Rock Church,
before i go i'd still pray to God that He will shows me signs, and let me feel His presence
i prayed the same prayer yesterday too but i didnt really felt anything.

today's sermon is great, pastor Kris keeps saying that church is the place where u get equipped, then u go out and fight (it's just like wut Jack and pastor Andrew has said)
"The further u away from the sanctuary, the deeper u stand in the river"

totally agree with him.

after the sermon, there were this prophetic team prophecied on people in the auditory,
and if we wanna be prophecied or received prayer, the team will be @ downstair praying for us.
then andy said he wants to go, so i just walk down there with him, but i didnt go for the prophecy
i just stood there and prayed for andy
after he's done, he asked me why didnt i go ? i said i dont know......
then we went upstair, and met Jasmine & Monat (did i spell her name right= =?) coz we supposed to drive them home. and andy said to them that they could go to the team and get prophecied, too. so they did, and he asked me to go with them. i was sort of hesitating but i'd decided to go at last.
so we went downstair again, and while i was waiting in the line, i started to think maybe this is the time that God will show His presence to me! and my heart beats were getting faster and faster...

the one who'd prayed for me named Jane.
She started out saying that i'm a warrior, even tho i'm a quiet one, but deep inside i'm willing to fight. she prayed to God to pour down more and more love/courage on me..... she said i'll save my family and friends, i'll bring them to the Light. and i started to cry because that's exactly wut i'm praying for everyday! i really want my family and frds to be saved by the Lord, i cried out for them!
At last, she said Jesus has heard my prayer, and i should keep praying and fighting.
then she pushed me, and someone behind me catched me, laying me down on the ground.
i just saw this Great Light around me, it was so bright that i couldnt even open up my eyes..and i started to gasp for a long time...i couldnt help it

thats about my encounter with God tonight
and i just wanna give thanks to Him for hearing my prayer, Lord i love You sooooo much!
i'll keep praying and fighting! for You alone!
also i wanna thank andy for insisted on me to go to the team~ XP

ps 打英文看起來真的很多= =!

amazing God

2008-01-07T22:39:00.000-08:00

簡單的紀錄:

我照著LTC那時候alice發的Bible Reading Chart 一天讀一點章節
今天讀到創世紀, 然後我對某個地方很疑惑....就問andy 為什麼怎樣怎樣...etc
結果他跟我講了我還是不懂! 就整個想不透!
然後我就開始禱告... 求神給我智慧, 幫助我了解祂的話

當我眼睛張開, 再一次看andy打的東西的時候
我居然一瞬間全都懂了!!!!
整個豁然開朗!!! (到底是不是這樣用= =?)

God You are so amazing~
I love You <33333

在神的國度裡我很單純

2008-01-05T01:30:00.000-08:00

like the title...
以前的我很複雜, 尤其在人際關係上
我總是很喜歡認識單純的人.. 因為我很羨慕他們, 我希望自己也能單純一點

在神的國度裡, 我好像變得比較單純
我不會想很多.. all i wanna do is to Love Him, Worship Him, and share gospel with all the people around me

可是今天andy說我什麼都還沒遇到, 就只是傻傻的,每天都很開心的想傳福音給每個人

i dont know wut's wrong w/ that......
一定要想很多嗎...?

可是目前的我就只是想單純的用我所有的, 去慢慢影響別人

i'm confused

i'm ready!!!

2008-01-01T13:06:00.000-08:00

昨天在教會跨年!
真的是有史以來最開心最high也最有意義的一次count down!!
在07年尾我遇見了我們的神, 祂將帶領著我來到08年
07年尾我渡過了這輩子最有意義的兩三個月
我深信08年將會學到更多, 得到更多, 愛更多

神正慢慢的改變我
以前我根本不可能主動願意在大家面前說話
因為我很容易緊張, 很害羞..etc
但現在的我很樂意和大家分享
我覺得這是一件超神奇的事!

08年要和神更親密!
and i'm ready to fight for Him!!

------------------------

剛看完eric的blog, 他建議大家都寫一個list, 所以其他人可以幫助我們達成+明年的這個時候可以看完成了幾項
so here it is:

-20 videos (from me)
-art classes + art gallery
-bring people to Christ (i'm working really hard on it)
-learn more abt' design
-learn how to play drum

先這樣吧! 其他想到再加~

baptized

2007-12-25T01:20:00.000-08:00

在耶穌誕生的前一天, 我受洗了! 在johnny家!
我想今年的聖誕節對我來說是最有意義的一年, 以前的我根本不懂聖誕節到底是在慶祝什麼, 就傻傻的過
但是我現在知道了
耶穌基督為了洗淨我們的罪而被釘死在十字架上
我終於了解祂是多麼的偉大!

我願意把我的一生奉獻給我們的神, 我要跟隨祂一輩子.
因為祂給我的愛是那麼的多, 那麼的無私
因為祂讓我重生

i love You sooooooooooooooo much, God
please use all of me to glorify Your Name!
and i'm gonna stand strong for You when the persecution comes!
i'll fear Nothing because i have Faith in You, Lord

也謝謝所有幫我禱告的人, love u too ^^!

1st video

2007-12-21T23:38:00.000-08:00

第一支影片已經出來了....
很簡陋, 說話很結巴, 但是神與我同在!!!
希望大家在看完笑完之後, 可以forward出去,
可以學我把link貼給MSN list上的每個人! 哇哈哈哈
(我從來都不會刪msn list上的人, 雖然3/4都沒在講話, 一半以上都不知道是誰, 可是我不會想要刪掉... 我上一秒終於知道為什麼我一直都沒刪了!

→ 原來它們的存在就是為了讓我傳福音!!!!

it's so simple!

主啊祢實在是太有遠見了!

http://youtube.com/profile_videos?user=shin5323&p=r

不定時新增, 有新的會通知大家!

the first video is out, its rough and i was stammered,
but God's spirit was with me!
wish u guys can forward it to everyone around u after u finished watching + laughing at it....
u can paste it to each person on ur MSN list! just like wut i did! wahaha

(i never delete anyone from my msn list even tho more than half of them i dont even know who they r! and i just found out why i dont delete ppl from my list.....

→ they exist because one day i'll preach to them!!

and that would be today!
it's so simple!

O Lord, You really the foresight to everything!

http://youtube.com/profile_videos?user=shin5323&p=r

nonscheduled update, i'll notifiy u when there's new one coming out!

about preaching

2007-12-19T00:19:00.000-08:00

大概上個禮拜開始, 我對神禱告說,
我想要讓更多人來認識接觸祂, 我希望每個人都可以愛祂, 就像祂愛我們一樣
請祂給我力量來傳福音

雖然我很想傳福音, 但一直以來我也只是幫一些人禱告而已
直到前兩天, 不知怎麼地, 腦子裡突然就蹦出一個idea
我決定開始錄製一些影片, 再放到網路上+儘可能的傳給每一個人,
我想利用影片來讓大家知道耶穌的美好! 或是傳遞一些在教會聽到的sermons!

所以這兩天都在錄跟剪輯...
雖然很簡陋, 但是我相信一定可以達到某種效果的ˋˊ
等剪好了還要麻煩大家盡量forward出去, 不管對方是不是基督徒!

嗯哼,
只要發自內心的對神禱告, 祂一定會聽並且幫助你的!
God is super Awesome!!

[我有問題]
"Do not put the Lord your God to the test" (Matthew 4:7)
不可以試探我們的神, 可是我的室友小時後身體很差, 一度嚴重到要休學,
在做最後一次身體檢查的前一晚, 他對神說, 如果祂真的存在, 就讓他變健康吧
結果隔天的檢查結果真的一點問題都沒有了!

那樣算試探嗎? 如果算的話, 為什麼神還是願意幫助他?

謝謝願意回答的人!

==English version **my translation is really bad...sorry...>"< ==

started from last week, i prayed to God that i wanna make more and more people know about Him, i wish everyone could love Him, just like He loves us.
I prayed that He can give me power and strength to make others believe in Him.

although i've always wanted to preach, all i can do was to pray for some of my friends
until 2 days ago, i dont know why/how, but there's an idea pop up in my mind all of a sudden,
i decided to record some videos, put them onto the internet+ send them to everyone!
i want to use those videos to let everyone know that our God is Good! or send out some messages i've learned from the sermons.

i've been working on it for these 2 days,
even tho the videos are kinda rough, but i believed, in certain level, it will works. ˋ_ˊ
after i done w/ the editing, please forward it to everyone around u, no matter they are Christian or not! thank you!

yeah,
i believed that, as long as we pray to God from our heart, He will definitely listen to us and willing to help us!
God is super Awesome!

live in the Light!

2007-12-11T17:07:00.000-08:00

所以我又多了一個blog, 算算這應該是第6還第7個了吧....o_O
aniwayz, 將在這邊記下我和神的點點滴滴, its gonna be great n meaningful!

這兩天開車, 看到遙遠的山上有好多好多雪
整片山頂都是白色的~ 超美超漂亮!
然後隨著想滑雪的慾望, 也跟著想到去年的這個時候..

我邊開車邊想著
去年的這時候, 跟大家滑雪前幾天, 發生了很糟糕的事
不只是那個冬天, 以前的所有日子, 我都渾渾噩噩的過..
總是不知道自己在幹嘛, 做一些很爛的行為, 傷害很多人.包括自己
我總是過的很不快樂, 動不動就憂鬱症, 然後拿刀玩...等等

我邊開車邊想著

自從認識了我的神, 真的, 祂把我帶進了光亮之中
我離以前的黑暗好遠好遠, and i love this feeling!
祂讓我每天都過的很快樂, 每天都在讚頌祂
我真的很感謝神讓我認識廖小徵, so i get the chance to know about Him
漸漸認識祂之後我發現我很需要祂
我向祂懺悔曾經做過的所有錯事, 我對祂說, 感謝祢找到了我, 並讓我回到祢身邊, live together under the Light

禮拜天的worship, 我和神說了很多話
最主要的, 在聽了Pastor David的理念後, 我也在心裡決定要努力讀書努力工作! 在將來的職場領域裡成為領導者, 然後帶著大家到network of Light.
要讓大家都回到神身邊, 而不是被黑暗勢力捲走
Everyone should dance with the Lord under the great Light!

所以, 我會努力的! 衝啊~!!
Hallelujah~!